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Oxytocin - The Love Hormone (Fun Discussion)


Oxytocin hormone :) The reason we fall in love (Fun Discussion)

What is oxytocin and why is it considered the “love hormone”? Oxytocin is a peptide hormone and neuropeptide that is thought to have a variety of effects ranging from increasing uterine contractions during labor to influencing social interactions. In this video, I discuss where in the brain oxytocin is synthesized and the hypothesized effects of oxytocin.

Oxytocin: The reason we fall in love

What is oxytocin and why is it considered the “love hormone”? Watch this video to find out and check our community page on 2/14 for details on our upcoming Valentine’s Day sale!

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Medical disclaimer: Knowledge Diffusion Inc (DBA Osmosis) does not provide medical advice. Osmosis and the content available on Osmosis's properties (, YouTube, and other channels) do not provide a diagnosis or other recommendation for treatment and are not a substitute for the professional judgment of a healthcare professional in diagnosis and treatment of any person or animal. The determination of the need for medical services and the types of healthcare to be provided to a patient are decisions that should be made only by a physician or other licensed health care provider. Always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition.

Trust, morality -- and oxytocin? - Paul Zak

What drives our desire to behave morally? Neuroeconomist Paul Zak shows why he believes oxytocin (he calls it the moral molecule) is responsible for trust, empathy and other feelings that help build a stable society.

Talk by Paul Zak.

37: Oxytocin: the Molecule of Love with Sue Carter

How does your biochemistry
affect your relationship? Are there ways to foster the inner
chemicals of love to keep things feeling fresh and vibrant? Today
we’re talking about the big “O” - Oxytocin - and its impact on how
we fall into love, and keep love going. In other earlier episodes
on the show, we’ve talked about oxytocin, and oxytocin versus
dopamine - and it seemed like it was time to go straight to the
source of much of what we know about how oxytocin works.
Today’s guest is Sue Carter, Director of the Kinsey Institute,
and Rudy Professor of Biology at Indiana University. Sue was the
first person to figure out oxytocin’s role in how we bond with our
partners - so if you hear people talking about this “love chemical”
- they’re probably talking about her work or work that’s based on
her work. We’re going to chat about what we know about oxytocin,
what we don’t know, and how to use the science to help you improve
things with your partner.
The Love Hormone: Oxytocin is often seen as the ‘love hormone’.
It was first discovered to be involved in love in the early 1970’s
when it was found to be present in the birth process. Since that
time it has been proven to play a key role in birth, as well as in
the bonding of mother and child. More recently it has been
discovered that oxytocin affects our brains, and is involved in the
biological and neurological system of attachment between parents
and children, and between adult partners.
Why is oxytocin so important in successful long term
relationships? Anything
that lasts a long time in human behavior has to have a biochemical
or biological basis. There has to be a mechanism that allows us to
fall in love, one that helps keep us together, as well as a
mechanism for allowing break ups to happen. The question of why
oxytocin is so important is complicated to answer, but the short
answer is that it is a mammalian hormone with an ancient
biochemistry (meaning it existed before the emergence of mammals)
and it is reused many times for many purposes. The most important
things in a human life require oxytocin to be present. This
includes birth, caring for offspring, finding a mate, creating a
social bond with our partners, and restoration and healing in the
face of stress.
All mammals have a very similar brain stem.
 The basic biology of pair
bonding and of attachment is possible using old neural mechanisms
and is housed in old parts of our brain - the parts of our brain
stem which we share with all other mammals. Many believe that the
most important organ for connection is our brain. In fact, Woody
Allen once said, that the brain is his “second favorite sex organ”.
 The brain is directly engaged in the process of both falling
in love and experiencing positive forms of sex.
Fostering oxytocin production: We can get low level oxytocin production
through simple social behaviors- interacting, play, being in a
socially safe place, and engaging with others. The most reliable
way to release higher levels of oxytocin in humans is via sexual
behavior, specifically orgasm. Another activity with high oxytocin
production is birth - in which the hormone is released in repeated
Parent and child - All human babies need a caretaker, and it
appears that oxytocin is critically involved in the bonding and
attachment necessary to keep children cared for. Attachment
behaviors found between parents and children produce similar
oxytocin producing results between two adults. For example, it is a
fact that the human breast has a monosynaptic connection between
the breast and hypothalamus- meaning there is a direct route from
the breast to the brain*. This route is not limited to nursing- any
kind of breast stimulation has the potential to release oxytocin with other stimulation, if
in the right context.
*Men also have this same nipple
neural network.
We have a biology that is beautifully attuned to allow
us to attach to people that are safe, and people that we have good
potential to become long term partners with. Oxytocin is a very clever molecule! Oxytocin
works within a background of a set of complex hormones, and never
in isolation. It is highly tuned to context, and is sensitive to
high levels of stress. This means that consensual sexual
interactions are critical for positive and oxytocin producing
physiological responses. Although safety is a very relative
concept, our bodies are highly tuned to know how to assess for
You can’t just read the sex manual.
By all means enjoy reading sex
manuals, learning new how tos, and fun tricks, but remember that no
matter how well you are trained in the ‘technology’ of sex, there
is no assurance it is going to work! You can learn to touch
here/suck that, but know that meaningful and fulfilling sexual
interactions involve both partners, some key biological processes,
and a whole lot of consent. As humans we are always reading the
social cues of those that we are forming relationships...

Thyroid Hormones Synthesis - Thyroid Gland

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The Differences Between Men and Women: Paul Zak at TEDxAmsterdamWomen

Last year he talked at TED Global about empathy. His research has shown that a few
hugs a day make us friendlier. As a neurologist, he will enlighten us about the differences between men and women.

The magical science of storytelling | David JP Phillips | TEDxStockholm

Why is Storytelling so powerful? And how do we use it to our advantage? Presentations expert David JP Phillips shares key neurological findings on storytelling and with the help of his own stories, induces in us the release of four neurotransmitters of his choice. Learn more in this 2nd TEDxStockholm talk of David's.

David JP Phillips is an international speaker, author and coach in Modern Presentation Skills. His training and material are based on neuroscience and biology which makes his deliveries very hands on, practical and motivational. He is best known for his seminar How To Avoid Death By PowerPoint, delivered at TEDxStockholm in 2015.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace

Excerpt of Simon Sinek from an episode of Inside Quest.

Psychological tricks to seduce a girl!

Click below to buy my eBook Get Her Crazy In Bed

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Psychological tricks to seduce a girl

Hi guys this is the one and only expert dating coach Annabella Rose here from Today I will be talking about Psychological tricks to seduce a girl.
The art of seduction is not something that comes naturally to everyone. That is why we have wingmen, rely on the vulnerability or the ‘friends with benefits’ clause. However, in our current society, in a world where psychology and mind reading is for everyone, it is not that hard to get a few and use them to suit your relationship situation. Here are some psychological tricks to seduce a girl you like or want to hook up with.

Be a good listener

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, use it. Women are known to use over 50,000 words per day, and if you listen carefully, they share so much about themselves. Besides, the more you listen, the better your chances of getting her since she is very comfortable with you. She also believes that you are sensitive and genuinely concerned about her which is a plus for you.

Benjamin Franklin Effect

Benjamin Franklin proposed a psychological phenomenon that posited that people reason that they help others because they like them. This is so, even if they do not in fact like those people because their minds struggle to maintain logical consistency between their actions and perceptions. This means that you should get the girl to do you a favor so that she begins to think that she likes you.

Humor her

This proves that you are intellectually strong/capable (which is something most women crave for because they don’t want to give birth to dumb children). Moreover, laughter releases the hormone oxytocin which is the hormone of ‘love’ (which helps bond individuals and groups together). Crack jokes, and if childish jokes are not your thing, sarcasm is one of the best humor. You can be like Chandler in Friends who always cracks people up with dark humor. Alternatively, you can show her or even send her funny memes that way she can always relate funny memes with you, and it would be like you told the joke yourself.

Ebooks are on sale at
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Annabella Rose is a Dating Coach, author and youtube presenter. She regularly publishes videos on KamaTV. She takes clients in to the bar and clubs and teaches her magic! Her speciality is approach and attraction. She also helps to develop confidence and conversational skills and gives honest perspective on the world of women from a woman’s point of view. Most of our clients say “the best advice ever” after talking to Annabella.

• To stay up to date on dating advice subscribe to the KamaTV channel
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Doctor Najeeb motivational speech at Khyber Medical College ( Credits =Dr Arifullah )

Legend Doc Najeeb Speech in MEDCON at Khyber Medical College

2-Minute Neuroscience: Hypothalamus & Pituitary Gland

In my 2-Minute Neuroscience videos I explain neuroscience topics in 2 minutes or less. In this video, I cover
the hypothalamus and pituitary gland. I discuss the two major roles of the hypothalamus: homeostasis and hormones. I also explain how the hypothalamus controls hormone release by manipulating the pituitary gland. I cover the anterior and posterior lobes of the pituitary gland, along with the most common hormones secreted from each lobe.

For more neuroscience articles, videos, and a complete neuroscience glossary, check out my website at !


Welcome to 2 minute neuroscience, where I simplistically explain neuroscience topics in 2 minutes or less. In this installment I will discuss the hypothalamus and pituitary gland.

The hypothalamus is a small region situated directly above the brainstem. It is made up of a collection of nuclei with a variety of functions, but in general the hypothalamus is involved in controlling the two H’s: homeostasis and hormones. Homeostasis is a term used to describe the maintenance of balance or stability in a biological system. The hypothalamus can maintain homeostasis either by exerting direct influence over the autonomic nervous system, or by causing the release of hormones. The hypothalamus manipulates hormone release primarily by controlling the pituitary gland.

The pituitary gland is a hormone-secreting gland that sits just below the hypothalamus. It is sometimes called the “master gland” because it not only secretes many extremely important hormones but it also regulates the activity of other hormone-secreting glands throughout the body. The pituitary consists of two lobes, called the anterior and the posterior pituitary. The anterior pituitary is responsible for the release of a number of hormones that have widespread effects throughout the body. They include growth hormone, which is involved with growth, follicle-stimulating hormone, which plays a role in development and reproduction, luteinizing hormone, which is essential to testosterone production and reproduction, adrenocorticotropic hormone, which is involved with the stress/fear response, thyroid sTimulating hormone, which is important to healthy metabolism, and prolactin, which promotes milk production in females. The release of these hormones is controlled by the hypothalamus, which sends signals in the form of releasing hormones to tell the anterior pituitary when to secrete its hormones.

The posterior pituitary also secretes two hormones, but does not synthesize them. Instead, they are synthesized by the hypothalamus and then sent to the posterior pituitary for release into the bloodstream. The names of these hormones are: oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin has important roles in facilitating childbirth and lactation, but is also thought to have a role in compassion and social bonding. Vasopressin's main functions are to control urine output and regulate blood pressure.

2-Minute Neuroscience: HPA Axis

In this video, I discuss the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal, or HPA, axis, which plays an important role in our stress response. I describe the components of the HPA axis (hypothalamus, pituitary gland, adrenal glands) and the hormones released by each of these structures during the stress response.


Welcome to 2 minute neuroscience, where I explain neuroscience topics in 2 minutes or less. In this installment I will discuss the HPA axis.

The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal, or HPA, axis is best known for its role in our body’s reaction to stress. The HPA axis includes a group of hormone-secreting glands from the nervous and endocrine systems: the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal glands. The hypothalamus is a small neuroendocrine structure situated just above the brainstem that controls the release of hormones from the pituitary gland, a hormone-secreting gland that sits just below the hypothalamus. The pituitary gland can release hormones into the bloodstream to reach a variety of targets. In the case of the HPA axis, hormones released from the pituitary gland travel down to the kidneys and influence the secretion of hormones from endocrine glands called the adrenal glands, which sit on top of the kidneys.

The primary function of the HPA axis is to regulate the stress response. When we experience something stressful, the hypothalamus releases a hormone called corticotropin-releasing hormone (or CRH). CRH signals the pituitary gland to secrete a hormone called adrenocorticotropic hormone, or ACTH into the bloodstream. ACTH travels down to the adrenal glands where it prompts the release of a hormone called cortisol from the cortex, or outer layer, of the adrenal glands. The release of cortisol causes a number of changes that help the body to deal with stress. For example, it helps to mobilize energy like glucose so the body has enough energy to cope with a prolonged stressor. When cortisol levels in the blood get high, this is sensed by receptors in areas of the brain like the hypothalamus and hippocampus, which leads to the shutting off of the stress response through what is known as a negative feedback mechanism.


Tasker JG, Herman JP. Mechanisms of rapid glucocorticoid feedback inhibition of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis. Stress. 2011 Jul;14(4):398-406. doi: 10.3109/10253890.2011.586446.

Thiel KJ, Dretsch MN. Basics of the Stress Response. In: Conrad CD, ed. The Handbook of Stress: Neuropsychological Effects on the Brain. Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell; 2011: 1-28.

Vedder H. Physiology of the Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenocortical Axis. Neuroimmune Biology. 2007. Jul;7:17-31.

The Definition of Love: Discover The 3 Types + What Love Really Is

I never understood love until I personally experienced it:

If you haven't truly experienced love, that's perfectly all right. That's why you're here. Because sometimes, when you least expect it, someone comes into your life so unexpectedly, takes your heart by surprise, and everything changes you forever.

My Attract the One webinar is a must-attend for any woman who's serious about discovering the definition of love for herself:

1:55 Definition of Love Type #1: Lust

If you just met and you can't keep your hands off him, it's lust.

Lust happens when you have little to go on about a person beyond their physical looks. And yes, that wonderful chemistry that happens when two people are physically compatible plays a large role. But without more data for your heart to process, lust may be simply a physical reaction to another human.

So while you might think you love this guy, if you haven't been dating more than a few weeks, it may just be lust.

As you get to know this man, you bond emotionally and come to respect him. That lust may turn to passion (which is very similar), which is sustaining and not selfish, the way lust can be. Still, a relationship that starts out with lust (and most do) absolutely has the potential to be long-term.

2:38 Definition of Love Type #2: Attraction

The second definition of love is attraction. While it's similar to lust in some ways in that you're drawn to that person, different hormones race through your brain: dopamine and norepinephrine.

Not only are you drawn to him physically, but you're also attracted to his personality, so we've leveled up in terms of love type. It's most common in that honeymoon phase of a relationship, which may last six months to a year.

You may not see an obvious difference between attraction and lust. After all, they both happen early in a relationship and can be superficial.

While attraction is one step deeper into the definition of love, I'd say you still don't have true and full love yet.

3:37 Definition of Love Type #3: Attachment

Now we come to the third definition of love: attachment. The hormones kicking in here are oxytocin and vasopressin.

Think about it from an evolutionary perspective: while our ancestors' primary goal was reproduction, the secondary goal was to build a family unit.

With attachment, you will want to commit even more to the man you love. That might mean you move in together or get married. You share everything with him. You tell him your secrets, and he tells you his. You trust one another completely.

This is, of course, where the definition of love really kicks in.

4:11 Definition of Love The Secret: You Need to Balance All Three to Really Enjoy Love

In a perfect world, you will have a beautifully balanced concoction of lust, attraction, and attachment.

In a healthy long-term relationship — which is what confidence is all about — you have a balance. You may start out with lust, which grows into attraction, and then finally attachment. But you will also continue to experience each of those.

Love is — and you have to believe me on this — worth waiting for, even if it takes a while. When you finally fall in true love, you'll laugh at all the times you thought you felt it in the past.

So what do you think is your primary focus when you’re out meeting men right now, lust, attraction, or attachment? Take the survey in the video.

Then let me know in the comments below: do you agree with this definition of love?

Attract the One and find your perfect balance of these types of love. Sign up for this love workshop today!

Happy Brain Chemicals: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphin

Discover your happy brain power in seconds! Help others discover their power over their dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphin. Here's a fun way to start making peace with your inner mammal.

Neuroscience of Love and Relationships

In this  interview with  Dr. Gabija Toleikyte she will discuss:
Is man's brain different from woman's brain? If so, what does that mean in terms of behavior and how to use this knowledge to strengthen the connection?
What happens in the brain when we are in love? 
How do we affect one another in the relationship at the brain level? How to get the most out of your current relationship having that awareness or find relationship which works for you best?
Join if you want to understand the opposite sex better and improve your relationship. 

Few Testimonials of previous workshops/seminars

I attended Gabi's first workshop in January and was at the point of giving up on my long term goal of becoming a freelance coach and wellbeing expert. After attending the second workshop and having a thirty minute coaching call with G, not only is my dream now alive again, more importantly, I am making progress towards it with concrete actions. This is thanks to Gabija, whose coaching really works. Thanks Gabija for helping me to keep the dream alive and having fun with it! - Angelina 
What I got from the last seminar was a reconnection with loving life in the full and inspiration to work through changes that will facilitate that. It was most enjoyable. I will be booking in to the next one! - Richard
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Good to hear things that make me happy are actually good for my brain & my creativity. I'll be back - Anna
Really brilliant and engaging. The speaker brought the best out of the audience, and vice versa - Tomas
Stimulating, thought provoking and lively. I loved the interactive format as it kept the momentum of the presentation going. I also met some lovely people. - Heather
A greatly balanced talk, enough information to spark your curiosity and make your brain move but just enough to prevent information overload. Already booked another talk with Gabija - Simona

About the Speaker

Dr. Gabija Toleikyte is a neuroscientist and business coach. She has completed her PhD at the University College London on the neuronal basis of memory and navigation. During her years of PhD Gabija has acquired business coach qualification and worked as an internal coach at UCL for the senior academics and administrative staff. By now Gabija has successfully coached over a hundred of academics, businessmen, professional athletes, corporate executives, entrepreneurs, charities on work performance, effective leadership, goal clarity, career transition, work life balance, assertiveness, fearless public speaking, building constructive relationships at work and other topics.
Combining coaching experience with neuroscience insights allowed Gabija to develop unique seminars, where solid neuroscience research is presented in the context of the topics relevant for organisations. Gabija has been delivering individually tailored seminars to executives of the corporate companies, coaches and directors of the coaching companies, management consultancies, scientific institutes and universities, teenagers at schools and teacher training programs and in the change management programs for school principals.
In addition to this she has spent many happy hours rock climbing, racing in the velodrome, filming her own talk show and teaching science and critical thinking in schools to children from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Endorphin (#2 of 7)

This episode of You Have Power Over Your Happy Brain Chemicals describes the special job of each happy chemical in the state of nature, and why these chemicals are not meant to flow all the time.
These 7 short videos show you how to build new neural pathways to turn on your happy brain chemicals in new and healthy ways. Anyone can do it by following these simple steps. In the next episodes, you'll learn why our unhappy chemicals turn on so easily, and three simple steps to wire in new self-soothing skills. You can replace an old habit that you're better off without! Check out the pdf Action Guide to support your re-wiring project at: And get lots more detail in my book, Habits of a Happy Brain: Retrain your brain to boost your serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphin levels.

español : Para ver subtítulos en español toca el botón que dice (CC) en la esquina inferior derecha.

You Have Power Over Your Happy Brain Chemicals is a free service of the Inner Mammal Institute. Find more resources for making peace with your inner mammal at Please like and share these valuable resources, and tell us how they worked for you!

It’s hard to accept the fact that our happy chemicals can’t surge all the time. Dopamine only spurts when you approach a new reward. Oxytocin only spurts when you enjoy safety in numbers. Serotonin only spurts when you assert your social importance. You will not have peace if you rush to trigger more of these chemicals as soon as a spurt is over. You’ll have more peace in the long run if you get comfortable with the neutral feeling between these spurts.

Pet benefits | Why Pets are medicine | Doses of fun | KIENVUUMD

Did you know that owning a pet relieves stress, helps your heart, and even improves your immune system?
Subscribe for more!

Our furry pets are already our best friends, but if you needed any more reason to love your dog or cat, here's why having a pet is good for your health. The many benefits might just show you why you should adopt a new pet!

Follow me for more!

Welcome to Dr. Kien's new YouTube channel.

It's health and medicine mixed with doses of fun and laughter.

On this channel, you're going to learn best practices from all healing modalities - from the conventional to the not so conventional.

And we're going to have fun !!!

Through these videos you’ll hear from physicians, healers and coaches to discuss best practices on diet, nutrition, fitness, epigenetics, biohacking, and many others to help you live a healthier, more positive, productive & fulfilled life.

Here is what I talked about:

Pets are medicine.
Hey, it’s Dr. Kien. Did you know that spending quality time with your dog, cat, or other animal has positive health benefits? Here are four reasons why.
Having a pet gives you a healthier heart. Why? Well, pet owners usually have a lot more exercise. They’re running around, chasing their pet all the time, and that’s good for your heart. In addition to exercise, pet owners also benefit from lowered blood pressure, decreased heart rate, and in some studies, even lowered cholesterol.
Number two: having a pet is actually a stress reliever. When you’re petting your dog or petting your cat, that releases hormones for you to relax, and that lowers your blood pressure. It also reduces cortisol or the stress hormone. Remember: too much stress hormone makes you fat, increases blood sugars, and decreases your immunity.
Number three: having pets makes you a social magnet. When you interact with your pet, or you’re interacting with other people who come up to your pet, that releases oxytocin. What does oxytocin do? Well, oxytocin reduces cortisol, which reduces your blood pressure. What it also does is increase GI, or gut motility, and decreases gut inflammation.
And lastly, improved immunity. Babies in homes that have pets have a decreased risk in developing allergies and asthma. It’s also been shown that babies raised in homes with pets have decreased the risk of getting the common cold or ear infections. In conclusion, pets are great for your health. And if you don’t have a pet, consider adopting one at your local animal shelter.
Thanks for watching, I hope you enjoyed that video. If you like it, please give me a thumbs up. Any questions you might have, leave them in the comments below, and if you liked it, I appreciate you sharing this video and hitting that subscribe button. See you next time.

Endocrine System, Part 1 - Glands & Hormones: Crash Course A&P #23

Hank begins teaching you about your endocrine system by explaining how it uses glands to produce hormones. These hormones are either amino-acid based and water soluble, or steroidal and lipid-soluble, and may target many types of cells or just turn on specific ones. He will also touch on hormone cascades, and how the HPA axis effects your stress response.

Table of Contents
Endocrine System 2:32
Glands Produce Hormones 2:58
Amino Acid Based and Water Soluble 4:18
Steroidal and Lipid Soluble 4:44
Hormone Cascades 6:15
HPA Axis Effects Your Stress Response 6:30


Crash Course Psychology Poster:


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Greetings from the other side of the world! DFTBA


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Distance is created by the Desert Otherworld, therefore we shall not be destroyed.


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There's A Scientific Process Behind The Crush You've Got

Everyone knows there's a difference between a crush and a serious romance.
But Business Insider reports your brain may have a harder time distinguishing the two.
University of Chicago researchers say hormones like dopamine and oxytocin release during both experiences.
When you see a potential mate, the brain also activates its cognitive network.
That's the region that holds our past experiences, preferences, and self-image.
When this area activates, it's instructing our eyes on who to love.
This process happens so quickly, you won't be mentally aware of it.
But your body may react with an increased heart rate and that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling.
Not only that, the brain will also usually engage in obsessive thinking. Fun times!

This video was produced by YT Wochit News using

How and why narcissists use kindness as a tool for manipulation

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Narcissists use kindness as a strategic tool
Video Outline
1. They are kind for mostly self-serving reasons
a. Show off to others
b. Show off to you
c. Solidifies how great they are in their own mind – evidence to delude themselves to feed their false sense of superiority or their false grandiose image of how awesome they are
2. By being kind, they trick others into thinking they have humanity
3. Intermittent rewards: gambling, thrift shopping, etc. Research studies say that sweet mean cycle is more addictive because you get really high by avoiding pain walking on egg shells
4. Creates a trauma bond:
a. Research study: women release more oxytocin with abusive men because it probably helps them cope with the pain.
b. Stockholm syndrome
5. It hides their predatory nature
a. Narcissists Ratio of kind to cruel behavior : 25 nasty actions, 5 neutral actions, 1 kind action
b. John Gottman: marriage researcher and psychologist says that for good marriages: Ratio 5 good to 1 bad interaction
1. Gift giving – Expensive gifts, hand crafted crafts
a. It’s is easy to do something or give something to trick others into thinking you care or that you have empathy
2. Act of Service – doing favors – drive you to airport, pick you stuff from grocery store, etc.
3. Sometimes the gifts are a backhanded insults
4. Many narcissists give you gifts you don’t want and expect you to be indebted to them
5. Flattery
6. Fake emotional support and validation: sometimes when they know they have been too cruel and you are on the verge of leaving, narcs realize hey, I need to tone it down and put on my nice mask for a bit to keep this sucker around.

How do you know it’s a mask? How is this different from regular human beings? Is this person really kind or do they use kindness as a strategic tool?
1. Does this person nice most of the time?
a. Ratio of positive to negative interactions matters
i. After love bombing phase, narcs are cruel most of them with sprinkles of kindness here and there
ii. After honey moon phase, people are still nice most of the time and act mean because they are stressed, emotionally dysregulated, have some flaws
2. Does this human have the capacity to change and grow over time?
3. Does this person actually feel remorse, like you can feel it in your gut?
a. Some sociopaths and narcissists are really good actors
4. When they say emotional statements, do you think that person feels it in their own way?
a. Some feeling people are more introverted, stoic, emotionally reserved but nonetheless feel just as intensely.
5. Do you experience same problems over and over and have round about circular conversation or have shit that they say they will do and they just don’t over and over
a. Regular humans can grow and change
6. Comparison with mammals – mammals like care giving and they release a hormone that is care giving chemical that makes care giving enjoyable.



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