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What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller

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BJ Miller: Death as Part of Life

Despite best intentions, today’s fractured healthcare systems largely compound our collective fear of the end of life as a time of suffering and disconnection. San Francisco’s Zen Hospice Project Senior Director, Advocate and palliative care physician BJ Miller invites us to think about and discuss the end of life through the lens of a mindful, human-centered model of care, one that embraces death not as a medical event but rather as a universally shared life experience. Having had his own near-death encounter, Miller powerfully advocates the roles of our senses, community and presence in designing a better ending.

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What Really Matters At The End Of Life - Inspired Motivational Videos

What Really Matters At The End Of Life - Inspired Motivational Videos

One night, sophomore year of college, just back from Thanksgiving holiday, a few of my friends and I were horsing around, and we decided to climb atop a parked commuter train. It was just sitting there, with the wires that run overhead. Somehow, that seemed like a great idea at the time. We'd certainly done stupider things. I scurried up the ladder on the back, and when I stood up, the electrical current entered my arm, blew down
My father wears it now in solidarity.

That night began my formal relationship with death — my death — and it also began my long run as a patient. It's a good word. It means one who suffers. So I guess we're all patients.

My purpose today is to reach out across disciplines and invite design thinking into this big conversation. That is, to bring intention and creativity to the experience of dying. We have a monumental opportunity in front of us, before one of the few universal issues as individuals as well as a civil society: to rethink and redesign how it is we die.

So let's begin at the end. For most people, the scariest thing about death isn't being dead, it's dying, suffering. It's a key distinction. To get underneath this, it can be very helpful to tease out suffering which is necessary as it is, from suffering we can change. The former is a natural, essential part of life, part of the deal, and to this we are called to make space, adjust, grow. It can be really good to realize forces larger than ourselves. They bring proportionality, like a cosmic right-sizing. After my limbs were gone, that loss, for example, became fact, fixed — necessarily part of my life, and I learned that I could no more reject this fact than reject myself. It took me a while, but I learned it eventually. Now, another great thing about necessary suffering is that it is the very thing that unites caregiver and care receiver — human beings. This, we are finally realizing, is where healing happens. Yes, compassion — literally, as we learned yesterday — suffering together.

We can design towards it. Parts of me died early on, and that's something we can all say one way or another. I got to redesign my life around this fact, and I tell you it has been a liberation to realize you can always find a shock of beauty or meaning in what life you have left, like that snowball lasting for a perfect moment, all the while melting away. If we love such moments ferociously, then maybe we can learn to live well — not in spite of death, but because of it. Let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.


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MRM Lecture Series Presents Dr. B. J. Miller - Chicago, May 23, 2017

On May 23, 2017, MRM Lecture Series filled the Greenhouse Theater’s MainStage for Dr. B. J. Miller’s presentation – THE POWER OF IMPOSSIBILITY: RETHINKING END-OF-LIFE CARE. What is a good death? How do you judge? In the end, what matters? Addressing questions such as these is central to the new model of end-of-life care pioneered by B. J. Miller. Featured in the New York Times article “One Man’s Quest to Change the Way We Die,” Miller speaks about death and dying at medical schools and professional conferences and his inspiring TED Talk ”What really matters at the end of life” which closed the 2015 TED Conference, has been watched more than five million times.

Life: what really matters

This is a video of my thought of the day on BBC humberside.

Today just before i came into the studio, i was clearing my garage and in doing so I came across a suitcase stuffed full of brand new clothes. Initially i couldnt even remember whether they were mine or not. Then my memory started clearing and i recalled buying them about 10 years ago when i was frivolous and thrifty. I asked myself why had i never worn them before and I remembered thinking to myself at the time that i would save them to wear on a special occasion. I, hurriedly started opening the packets to try them on. First i tried on a pair of trousers. I looked at myself in the mirror and was horrified. It was ill-fitting and horribly dated. How could i possibly have spent so much money on them? Next i tried a shirt. It was too tight for me to even button up. Finally i tried a tie i had bought. Again, from a fashion perspective, it was clearly past its sell by date. I felt sad. What a waste! Why didn’t i wear those clothes when i could have enjoyed them.

And that got me thinking…Isn’t this what we do with so many aspects of our lives like our health and our relationships. We spend all our time caught up in the rat race at the cost of looking after our health and spending time with our loved ones. We do so in the hope that one day in the future, we will be financially comfortable and at that point we would be able to enjoy the fruits of our labours with our loved ones. The truth is that when that time arrives, we are often left disappointed much like i was with my new found clothes today. Our children will have flown the nest and become strangers and our health may also have left our sides.

This is why i think that life is journey not a destination. Take time to spend time with your loved ones when you can enjoy them and at a time when you have your health and energy to make your experiences with them memorable. In the end, those experiences will be the best investment you will ever have made.
Thank you
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Focus On What REALLY Matters In Life - Gary Vaynerchuk | Motivational Talk

Gary Vaynerchuk talks about the huge importance of focusing your attention on the things that really matter in life and why having a positive perspective on life is the key to true success & happiness.

Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur and the CEO and founder of VaynerMedia, a full-service digital agency servicing Fortune 500 clients across the company’s 5 locations. Gary is also a prolific public speaker, venture capitalist, 4-time New York Times Bestselling Author, and has been named to both Crain’s and Fortune’s 40 Under 40 lists.

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What Matters In Life?

Most people don’t want to “do nothing’ all day. We have hopes and dreams, goals and ambitions. We want to contribute to the world, make it a better place, not “retire” from it to a life of “leisure”. For most of us, the prospects of sleeping in late, lounging on the beach, improving our golf scores, living on cruise ships, and lazing about all day may sound good for a short time, but they hold little allure for us in the long-term.

So, what really matters in life? I can boil the answer to this question down to six major themes:

Wealth

Health

Relationships

Contribution/Achievement

Meaning

Happiness

First a little discussion on the themes.

Wealth – some have more than others, some have less, but most of the people I run across agree that while it can be used to pay for nice homes, fast cars, and fine dining, it can’t purchase meaning. Beyond a middle-income level, the amount of money you have bears little correlation to how happy you are.

Health – is critically important to enjoying life. Good health is a combination of luck, a healthy lifestyle, and medical care.

Relationships – are very important. Everyone I meet clearly values their relationships with friends and family members and sees that these relationships are key to their emotional wellbeing.

Contribution/Achievement – for most of us reading this blog we are fortunate in life and seek to give back, make a positive contribution, even leave a legacy. Helping others as we’ve been helped is important to us.

Meaning – work that has meaning is important to our sense of well being. We want to feel that we are making a real difference in the world.

Happiness – everyone I’ve ever met wants to be happy. True happiness can’t be bought – it has to be lived!

As you contemplate these themes and set your goals for 2015, you might choose to volunteer or work on projects that make the world a better place. You might choose to change to a job or a career where you have more opportunity to serve. For me, I still teach and give classes, but I focus more on advising people how they can have a great rest of their lives rather than just work harder and “make more money.”

Reflecting on life’s purpose should start when you’re young—and never stop. I served on the board of the Peter Drucker Foundation for 10 years, so I had a chance to observe Peter personally. He worked until his death at age 95! He was never interested in retiring. He was interested in working to make the world a better place. Through his example, I learned that making a difference means more than, and is very different from, making a living.

Think about your life. Now’s a great time to start planning the rest of it. How can you make a contribution? How can you find meaning? What will make you happy? How can you make this time count—for yourself, the people around you, and the world?

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith was selected as one of the 10 Most Influential Management Thinkers in the World by Thinkers50 in both 2011 and 2013. He was also selected as the World’s Most Influential Leadership Thinker in 2011. Marshall was the highest rated executive coach on the Thinkers50 List in both 2011 and 2013. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There was listed as a top ten business bestseller for 2013 by INC Magazine / 800 CEO Read (for the seventh consecutive year). Marshall’s exciting new research on engagement will be published in his upcoming book Triggers (Crown, 2015).
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What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

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Reclaiming The End Of Life As A Human Experience | Dr. BJ Miller

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BJ Miller, MD reminds us to consider the fullest view of what it means to be human - from the messy, uncomfortable issues that arise around dying to the delight of being alive in our bodies - as a path to understanding the possibilities available to open to design for the end of life experience.

What Really Matters In Life?

Have you ever asked yourself the question, What really matters in life? More money, a better job, a relationship? Find out what REALLY matters

How to Figure Out What Really Matters

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Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur and the CEO and founder of VaynerMedia, a full-service digital agency servicing Fortune 500 clients across the company’s 5 locations. Gary is also a prolific public speaker, venture capitalist, 4-time New York Times Bestselling Author, and has been named to both Crain’s and Fortune’s 40 Under 40 lists.

Gary is the host of the #AskGaryVee Show, a business and marketing focused Q&A video show and podcast, as well as DailyVee, a docu-series highlighting what it’s like to be a CEO, investor, speaker, and public figure in today’s digital age.

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What Really Matters to Your Soul?

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What really matters

Trailer What Really Matters Documentary Series Spain
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What Really Matters in Life

The answer to all of life's complication is actually extremely simple. We often spend so much energy and time diving deeply into the nooks and crannies of life. I've personally gone through almost every avenue of research imaginable to find the TRUTH! But the truth is never separate from us and our experiences.

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Lessons Learned in Life: What Really Matters

What are the life lessons you've learned so far?

Your life lessons might look quite different from this list. The most important point is that you identify the deepest, most meaningful lessons you've learned about life. When you recognize what really matters to you, you'll live each day consciously and full of purpose.

BJ Miller (Full Episode) - Feisworld Podcast

BJ Miller - How do we reframe suffering and find our unique joy?
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About BJ:
Dr. BJ Miller is a Palliative Care physician at the UCSF Medical Center. His Ted talk in 2015, What really matters at the end of life was watched by nearly 5 million people worldwide. Death has never been a popular subject, why would so many people want to listen?

“BJ Miller thinks deeply about how to create a dignified, graceful end of life for his patients” because we need embrace the subjective. People are transformed by illness. Death is in fact part of life. It is one of the few things we all know for certain. What do we do about this?

BJ answers all the questions you too should know more about. The knowledge and wisdom of how we live and how we die can benefit everyone. Not just the people who are suffering.

About Feisworld:
Feisworld Podcast was created by Fei Wu in 2014 to celebrate stories of sung and unsung heroes, from all walks of life.

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what really matters in life

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What really motivates people to be honest in business | Alexander Wagner

Each year, one in seven large corporations commits fraud. Why? To find out, Alexander Wagner takes us inside the economics, ethics and psychology of doing the right thing. Join him for an introspective journey down the slippery slopes of deception as he helps us understand why people behave the way they do.

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What really matters in life

What really matters in life

A question that we often find ourselves wondering during times of crisis.
After a week back in Scotland, Laura and I's trip ended with a realisation, What really matters in life is... We started our journey in London and spent the weekend there, our trip ended in my beloved Glasgow.

You can check our last episode out here:

Thank you all for 500 subscribers. We are now halfway to 600. I can not wait to see the growth we have over the next year. Thank you all so much. I am eternally grateful.


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Death helps us love life | BJ Miller, MD | End Well Symposium

BJ Miller, MD, reminds us that if we never suffered, we might not really know what passion and joy felt like.

Learn about the End Well Symposium:

We believe all people should experience the end of life in a way that matches their values and goals. End Well is a dynamic gathering of individuals committed to generating human-centered, interdisciplinary innovation for the end of life experience.

We are a diverse group of people who listen and learn from each other. Our goal is to create a cultural shift that supports new collaborations, systems, protocols, and products to foster new and existing networks of support to make the end of life more human-centered for all. Join us.

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Revisiting The Ethos Of Health Care | BJ Miller, MD

Informed by his own experiences as a patient, Dr. BJ Miller powerfully advocates for the roles of our senses, community and presence in designing a better ending. His interests are in working across disciplines to affect broad-based culture change, cultivating a civic model for aging and dying and furthering the message that suffering and dying are fundamental and intrinsic aspects of life.

He invites us to think about and discuss the end of our lives through the lens of a mindful, human-centered model of care, one that embraces dying not as a medical event but rather as a universally shared life experience. Dr. Miller is a longtime hospice & palliative care physician and educator. He’s been on faculty at his alma mater, UCSF, since 2007 where he’s worked in all settings of care: hospital, clinic, residential facility, and home. He now sees patients and families at the UCSF Helen Diller Family Comprehensive Cancer Center.

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