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What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller

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BJ Miller: Death as Part of Life

Despite best intentions, today’s fractured healthcare systems largely compound our collective fear of the end of life as a time of suffering and disconnection. San Francisco’s Zen Hospice Project Senior Director, Advocate and palliative care physician BJ Miller invites us to think about and discuss the end of life through the lens of a mindful, human-centered model of care, one that embraces death not as a medical event but rather as a universally shared life experience. Having had his own near-death encounter, Miller powerfully advocates the roles of our senses, community and presence in designing a better ending.

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What Really Matters at the End of Life

A short film illustrating the Ted Talk 'What really matters at the end of life' by B J Miller
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What Really Matters At The End Of Life - Inspired Motivational Videos

What Really Matters At The End Of Life - Inspired Motivational Videos

One night, sophomore year of college, just back from Thanksgiving holiday, a few of my friends and I were horsing around, and we decided to climb atop a parked commuter train. It was just sitting there, with the wires that run overhead. Somehow, that seemed like a great idea at the time. We'd certainly done stupider things. I scurried up the ladder on the back, and when I stood up, the electrical current entered my arm, blew down
My father wears it now in solidarity.

That night began my formal relationship with death — my death — and it also began my long run as a patient. It's a good word. It means one who suffers. So I guess we're all patients.

My purpose today is to reach out across disciplines and invite design thinking into this big conversation. That is, to bring intention and creativity to the experience of dying. We have a monumental opportunity in front of us, before one of the few universal issues as individuals as well as a civil society: to rethink and redesign how it is we die.

So let's begin at the end. For most people, the scariest thing about death isn't being dead, it's dying, suffering. It's a key distinction. To get underneath this, it can be very helpful to tease out suffering which is necessary as it is, from suffering we can change. The former is a natural, essential part of life, part of the deal, and to this we are called to make space, adjust, grow. It can be really good to realize forces larger than ourselves. They bring proportionality, like a cosmic right-sizing. After my limbs were gone, that loss, for example, became fact, fixed — necessarily part of my life, and I learned that I could no more reject this fact than reject myself. It took me a while, but I learned it eventually. Now, another great thing about necessary suffering is that it is the very thing that unites caregiver and care receiver — human beings. This, we are finally realizing, is where healing happens. Yes, compassion — literally, as we learned yesterday — suffering together.

We can design towards it. Parts of me died early on, and that's something we can all say one way or another. I got to redesign my life around this fact, and I tell you it has been a liberation to realize you can always find a shock of beauty or meaning in what life you have left, like that snowball lasting for a perfect moment, all the while melting away. If we love such moments ferociously, then maybe we can learn to live well — not in spite of death, but because of it. Let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.


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We’re looking at death all wrong. Here’s why. | BJ Miller, MD

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Writing a will: What to leave behind after you die | BJ Miller

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Death helps us love life | BJ Miller, MD | End Well Symposium

BJ Miller, MD, reminds us that if we never suffered, we might not really know what passion and joy felt like.

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We believe all people should experience the end of life in a way that matches their values and goals. End Well is a dynamic gathering of individuals committed to generating human-centered, interdisciplinary innovation for the end of life experience.

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What really matters at the end of life BJ Miller

Conversations on Compassion with Dr. BJ Miller

In this conversation, CCARE’s founder and director, Dr. James Doty, will ask Dr. BJ Miller about his life’s work and how compassion has played a role.

Dr. BJ Miller is a palliative care physician at UCSF and a leading voice reframing society’s discourse on the field of death and dying. His interests are in working across disciplines to affect broad-based culture change and in cultivating a civic model for aging and dying. He invites us to think about, and discuss, the end of our lives through the lens of a mindful, human-centered model of care, one that embraces dying not as a medical event but rather as a universally shared life experience.

Informed by his own experiences as a patient, BJ powerfully advocates the roles of our senses, community and presence in designing a better ending. He brings a unique blend of training, experience and commitment to furthering the message that suffering and dying are fundamental and intrinsic aspects of life and is widely recognized for his efforts in cultivating a larger dialogue on this full scope approach to the reality of life and death.

His TED Talk, “What Really Matters at the End of Life” has been viewed over 8 million times and his work have been the subject of multiple interviews and podcasts including Oprah Winfrey, PBS, The New York Times, The California Sunday Magazine, Krista Tippett, Tim Ferriss, and the TED Radio Hour. BJ’s practical guide for preparing for death, entitled A Beginner’s Guide to the End, co-authored with Shoshana Berger, will be released in July 2019.

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Practical Advice for the End of Life: A Podcast with BJ Miller

This week we talk with BJ Miller, hospice and palliative care physician, public speaker, and now author with Shoshana Berger of the book A Beginner's Guide to the End.

As we note on the podcast, BJ is about as close as we get to a celebrity in Hospice and Palliative Care. His TED Talk What Really Matters at the End of Life has been viewed more than 9 million times. As we discuss on the Podcast, this has changed BJ's life, and he spends most of his working time engaged in public speaking, being the public face of the hospice and palliative care movement.

The book he and Berger wrote is filled to the brim with practical advice. I mean, nuts and bolts practical advice. Things like:

- How to clean out not only your emotional house but your physical house (turns out there are services for that!)
- Posting about your illness on social media (should you post to Facebook)
- What is the difference between a funeral home and mortuary
- Can I afford to die? How much will it cost?

We focus our discussion with BJ on his reasons for writing the book, sexuality and serious illness, and priming people to check the instincts of a medical system that favors aggressive/intensive/invasive care and crappy deaths.

Enjoy!
@AlexSmithMD
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Reclaiming The End Of Life As A Human Experience | Dr. BJ Miller

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BJ Miller, MD reminds us to consider the fullest view of what it means to be human - from the messy, uncomfortable issues that arise around dying to the delight of being alive in our bodies - as a path to understanding the possibilities available to open to design for the end of life experience.

What really matters at the end of life

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MRM Lecture Series Presents Dr. B. J. Miller - Chicago, May 23, 2017

On May 23, 2017, MRM Lecture Series filled the Greenhouse Theater’s MainStage for Dr. B. J. Miller’s presentation – THE POWER OF IMPOSSIBILITY: RETHINKING END-OF-LIFE CARE. What is a good death? How do you judge? In the end, what matters? Addressing questions such as these is central to the new model of end-of-life care pioneered by B. J. Miller. Featured in the New York Times article “One Man’s Quest to Change the Way We Die,” Miller speaks about death and dying at medical schools and professional conferences and his inspiring TED Talk ”What really matters at the end of life” which closed the 2015 TED Conference, has been watched more than five million times.

What Really Matters

During a moment when things seem to be falling apart, we have put together a powerful message to help us grow. We believe that you matter & that everyone is a Universal Soldier.

The Vanities of This World, Causes Many to Forget What Really Matters

I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

Ecclesiastes 11:9Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. 10Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity.

Ecclesiastes 12:1Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them; 2While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:

Ecclesiastes 2:1I said in mine heart, Go to now, I will prove thee with mirth, therefore enjoy pleasure: and, behold, this also is vanity. 2I said of laughter, It is mad: and of mirth, What doeth it?

Ecclesiastes 1:18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.:

Ecclesiastes 5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.
11When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what good is there to the owners thereof, saving the beholding of them with their eyes? 12The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.

Job 3:17There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the weary be at rest. 18There the prisoners rest together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor. 19The small and great are there; and the servant is free from his master. 20Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul; 21Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures; 22Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave? 23Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in? 24For my sighing cometh before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters. 25For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. 26 I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.

LOVE: ECC 4:7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun.
8There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.
9Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 9:7Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works. 8Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment. 9Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
10Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear YHWH, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14For YHWH shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil
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End of life care

Medicine
موضوع رعاية المرضى في آخر فترات عمرهم

Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations - How to Die ( Dr. BJ Miller )

Dr. BJ Miller is a hospice and palliative care specialist who treats patients with life-altering and terminal illnesses at the University of California in San Francisco. Dr. Miller shares his revelations about a subject that is often taboo in our culture: the experience of death. He describes the moment after a person's death, and explains why it is both sacred and unknowable. While a sophomore in college, Dr. Miller suffered a devastating electrical shock throughout his body. He lost half his arm and both his legs below the knee. He talks about how this earth-shattering experience proved to be a spiritual wake-up call and how it left him with an extraordinary sense of what it means to confront death. Dr. Miller discusses why he thinks it’s time for us to rethink the idea that “death is inherently horrible.” He also reveals what he's learned about regret by experiencing “vicarious deathbed moments” in his practice. Dr. Miller’s new book, “A Beginner’s Guide to the End,” will be published in Summer 2019.

BJ MILLER end of life

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Life Lesson : What Really Matters In Life

Cheese, thats what its all about....I friggin' love cheese,lol, no seriously though...Love is amazing, go find it, you dont have to be in love to enjoy life, you can simply have love for a person like a family member or friend, its what makes everything we do worth it, every effort, every sacrifice, its all worth it when you do it out of love or have someone love you...

What Really Matters Before & After You Die

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